We both bleed but out of separate wounds

Bernadette Castillo November 25, 2019

Counterparts | 11.05.19 | Come and Take It Live

I’ve wanted the chance to photograph Counterparts for years. I first saw them with Being As An Ocean on the Common Vision Tour back in 2014 and it was the first hardcore show I’d ever been to - I was mesmerized. I haven’t seen Counterparts as much as I’d like over these last five years, but they’ve come here to Austin twice in 3 months and I’m happy to say I got the chance to see them both times! I ran into a couple of friends I hadn’t seen in a while at this show as well, and that was such a pleasant surprise.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s this massive misconception around the hardcore scene. I’ve never felt anything less than safe or respected at these type of shows. I feel like a lot of people perceive it as this dangerous, aggressive thing when it really isn’t. It’s a place for catharsis, and everyone is looking out for each other. It’s this incredible energy that is, quite frankly, addicting to be around.

I really am a fan of Counterparts and they seriously get better with each album release; I’m looking forward to what these guy do next.

I was born to run, so run I may

Bernadette Castillo November 14, 2019

Dirty River Boys / Shane Smith & the Saints | 10.25.19 | The Historic Scoot Inn

This show was a special one for me to capture for a few different reasons: I stumbled across Shane Smith’s music as an 18 year old college student when he was performing at Cheatham Street Warehouse opening for Turnpike Troubadours - I left the show a huge fan, and have followed his music ever since. There’s been a couple different lineup changes since then, but the soul, talent and genuine heart of Smith has been unwavering. It has absolutely been incredible to see how much his fan base has grown over this past decade, going from seeing him and his band play in sparse bars to sold out shows every time they play in Austin. Smith has worked incredibly hard at his craft and his recognition from the country music scene and success could honestly not happen to a better man.

I’ve photographed these guys plenty of times (Smith helped me on so many of my school projects, generously agreeing to be my photo subject countless times while I was studying photography), but nearly a decade later I’m happy to say I was finally able to properly photograph them and capture the energy that makes them such an incredible live band.

I also discovered The Dirty River Boys while I was in college and saw them countless times while I was in school… I hadn’t seen them since I was probably about 21 years old, and it was interesting to see them again after so many years. It made me quite nostalgic and at this risk of being “that person,” I missed hearing their older material.

This lineup was a dream of mine while I was a college student - and it was an honor to get to capture it and quite fitting that I got this opportunity all these years later.

Goes and it goes and it goes

Bernadette Castillo November 4, 2019

Sailor Poon / IDLES | 10.05.19 | Mohawk

It’s been several weeks since this show and I’m still in absolute awe.

A couple months ago a friend introduced me to IDLES with the song ‘Never Fight a Man with a Perm,’ and I was hooked. As I listened through Joy As an Act of Resistance, I could picture just the type of energy one of IDLES shows would have and definitely didn’t think I’d be able to witness one so soon. Their ACL Late Night show sold out pretty immediately, I’d snagged a ticket just in case I didn’t get the chance to cover the show - I knew it was not to be missed! Fortune would have it that I did get clearance for this show- so I offered the ticket I had to my friend who introduced me to the band.

Opening the show was Sailor Poon, a local Austin, all female band. I studied photography with the bassist, and I remember when she first started the band all those years ago - it was awesome to finally see them live!

I have not been to a show with this energy in way too long... and I haven’t shot a show like this without a barrier in probably years. It reminded me of just how I fell in love with live music photography - that exhilaration and challenge of capturing the energy of what’s happening before me while trying to stay on my feet while being shoved in a crowd of hundreds of people. I had bruises for about a week and I’m thankful and surprised I walked out with as many images I was proud of as I did.

IDLES has got to be one of the best live bands out there today- their energy and chemistry as a band is incredible to witness. Their message of acceptance and inclusion and love and feminism is so important and refreshing especially coming from an all male band. These guys are the real deal and I left the show a bigger fan than I already was.

We've been here before

Bernadette Castillo November 4, 2019

Reignwolf | 09.26.19 | Historic Scoot Inn

Quiet little voices

Bernadette Castillo November 4, 2019

We Were Promised Jetpacks | 07.25.19 | Mohawk

This was my first show I’d photographed this year and while I was nervous about feeling quite rusty in the photo pit, I was beyond stoked that it was for the 10th anniversary tour of We Were Promised Jetpacks’ release of These Four Walls. Albeit, photographing this show was a little bittersweet because I knew it was the last time I’d get to catch one of their founding members, guitarist Michael Palmer play, this tour run would be his last with the band after over a decade.

Where you been before

Bernadette Castillo December 30, 2018

Black Pistol Fire | 12.13.18 | The Scoot Inn

I’ve been following Black Pistol Fire since 2011, when I saw them randomly inside Stubb’s the spring of my freshman year of college. I was 19 years old, and even now, nearly 10 years later, these guys are still just as face meltingly awesome and talented (if not more so) than the first time I ever saw them.

I haven’t seen them nearly enough over the past several years, so whenever they’re back in Austin I make it a point to see them. Unfortunately, I missed most of Emily Wolfe’s set this time around (I’ve seen her live before), I caught a couple songs towards the end though and she is incredible. I’ve never seen Blackillac before and their energy was phenomenal live. I was impressed by them, and while they are not really in the same genre as BPF, with their presence and performance, it’s apparent why all these bands were on the same bill. I’m bummed to say that I had to leave shortly after my first three songs were up after Black Pistol Fire took the stage, but of course, the guys were nothing short of fantastic and brought the fire on what was a really chilly night.

Sometimes I can't believe the steps in between

Bernadette Castillo December 30, 2018

Minus The Bear | 12.01.18 | Emo’s

I still remember the first time I heard Minus the Bear: I remember feeling at home. The vocals and melodies were a perfect storm of what draws me to bands and their music. I’ve been lucky enough to catch them on more than one occasion, and as with any band you connect with, it really bummed me out to hear they were going to stop making new music and touring. I was really hoping to photograph, and wanted to buy a ticket anyways to the show. A few friends and I made plans to buy tickets but when it came time to do so, the show had already sold out. I’m not one to give up so easily on trying to get into shows though, and where there’s a will there’s a way. I managed to score tickets the week before the show just in case I didn’t get in to photograph, but as it turns out…. I got an email for clearance as I was walking out the door to meet up with one of my friends the night of the show.

I’ve been to a handful of ‘farewell’ tours… but in my memory, none seemed to have the finality of this particular one. Minus the Bear walked out, started playing and I stood there nothing short of being in awe, with a huge smile on my face. All the guys were clearly having a good time and thoroughly enjoying themselves on that stage. The crowd’s energy behind me as I was photographing was palpable. I heard a woman behind me scream ‘OH MY GODDDDDDDD YES!!!” and I turned to smile at her because that echoed my exact sentiments. I hope it’s not the last time we see these guys, but it really feels like it might. I’m so humbled and grateful for the opportunity to photograph what might very well be the last tour of this cherished band… it never ceases to amaze me that this is something I get to do.

Quit all that looking back

Bernadette Castillo December 30, 2018

Oh Pep! / Gregory Alan Isakov | 10.18.18 | Emo’s

This past week or so, I’ve been lucky to go to shows more days than not, and I’ve been able to catch bands and musicians I’ve wanted to catch for years… my favorite thing to do period, but also quite a way to get my favorite season started.

I first saw Gregory Alan Isakov years ago, but I remember having to leave early because I wasn’t feeling too well. I was excited to get to catch him again, especially upon listening to his latest album Evening Machines.

I showed up early to catch the opener Oh Pep! because I’d heard good things, and they did not disappoint. The simplicity of their vocals, accompanied just with a guitar and violin/ mandolin made for a very soothing set. Now, I’ve seen Gregory Alan Isakov before but oh man, there was something really special about this night. I felt every single song he played to my core, and the sound of his voice simultaneously broke my heart and filled my soul. His set was absolutely beautiful and the crowd was absolutely fixated. The accompanying strings sounded perfect… everyone on stage was beyond talented. Of course, it was over too quickly.

This was such a lovely evening on top of everything because I got to catch up with a few of my favorite people in one spot. It was a very healing night.

I've been waiting here...in the desert, where the sun bleeds

Bernadette Castillo October 18, 2018

Reignwolf | 10.12.18 | Antone’s

The first time I ever had my face melted off by Reignwolf (or also known as Jordan Cook) was five years ago at another ACL Late Night show, opening for The Bright Light Social Hour. It’s been a long few years awaiting an album, and I think it’s quite a testament to Cook’s musicianship that he has amassed such a following on the festival circuit over the years, despite not having released an album. If you ever get the chance to see this guy perform, you’ll understand precisely why.

I showed up before the opening band Arkells took the stage and I was pleasantly surprised with how easily they commanded the audience. Their stage presence and confidence is something I’ve seen lacking from bands that play much bigger stages… it’s not something that not every band has, but I guess when you’ve been a band for about a decade, it comes with the territory. I decided to cut my losses over my increasing frustration with the minimalist lighting… I first started photographing shows in the worst lighting conditions and without photo pits and I realized very quickly how spoiled I’d gotten over these last few years; but that meant I had more time to enjoy their set.

Upon waiting for Reignwolf to take the stage, I thought about just how long it had been since I’d seen this guy perform and it made me so nostalgic. It’s been years since I’d first seen him in 2013 opening for a local band at Emo’s. I saw him play at Continental Club, and remember getting to chat with him and the bassist at the time for a while. I remember seeing him play at a sold out show inside Stubb’s a few months after that. It was crazy to see Cook again, years later, and knowing just how much has changed over those years, but also reflecting on what’s been constant. Reignwolf, especially live, is nothing short of fantastic. I wish there was more I could say about it, but honestly, it’s incredible to witness just how much talent is contained in this one man. I respect that he’s brought on other musicians to fill out his live sound, but I’ve seen this guy sing, play guitar and bang a drum at the same time before. Long story short, it’s probably going to be another few years until I get to see Cook again and I’m skeptical about a record from him… but, if you get the chance to see Reignwolf live, absolutely do it. There’s not many people like him.

Depth over distance every time, my dear

Bernadette Castillo October 5, 2018

Ben Howard | 10.01.18 | Red Rocks Amphitheater

I swear I always discover musicians when they’re in between album cycles or on extended hiatuses OR when they just played a show in my city…. which I understand, greatness takes time. So when Ben Howard starting dropping new music, I figured there had to be a new album, which meant a tour coming soon. I told myself if he played a show at Red Rocks I’d make a trip out to Colorado just to see him. Well, he announced a show there and I snatched up a pair of tickets as soon as they went on sale, not knowing details of how I would get up there again, only that I would figure it out somehow. A week or so before the show, I was feeling ambitious and told myself I would at least ask to see if i could get in to photograph the show. I didn’t think I would hear back especially since I had no idea if I’d reached out to the right person after all. but to my pleasant surprise I heard back within a couple hours. I was honestly in disbelief that I was going to actually finally getting to see Ben Howard live, let alone photograph him, and I was also in disbelief that I was getting the chance to photograph at Red Rocks for the second time until i picked up the pass from the box office the night of the show and got into the amphitheater.

I definitely got pretty misty eyed standing at the bottom of those steps, waiting for the opener Wye Oak to take the stage: looking up around me at the massive crowd that filled that space and reflecting on how I never would have imagined I’d be able to photograph again at this legendary venue that many musicians aspire about getting to perform. I never would have thought in my wildest dreams that photographing at Red Rocks would be my reality…. but here I am and I’ve lived that reality not once, but twice.

I’ve wanted and waited to see Ben Howard for a few years now, and with that kind of anticipation there’s always a pretty big chance that your expectations won’t live up to your reality… that you’ll be disappointed somehow. I fell in love with ‘Every Kingdom,’ but everything he’s put out has shown such growth and depth and I so cherish every album for how different they are from each other; it’s one of the reasons I respect him so much as an artist and musician. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t hear some of my favorite songs because at this point, they’re such old songs and sonically a bit removed from his current sound. I knew all these things and let me tell y’all, I can barely describe what a beautiful, majestic performance it was. Ben is such a wonderfully talented, brilliant musician. Naturally, most of the set was comprised of cuts from the latest album release ‘Noonday Dream.’ which i’m sure not every fan of his music loved. I personally thought it was beautiful to begin with, but my goodness, seeing those songs live from that album in all their glory was absolutely magical. He practically has a touring orchestra behind him in which you can hear all the nuances of the melodies that I missed on the record. It was so beautiful to actually get to see just how much of himself he puts into his music while he’s performing and on top of that, just how much thought went into the production with the atmosphere and the lighting. I even managed to keep my tears at bay until I heard the opening notes of Conrad during the encore, which in retrospect I am quite impressed with myself that I lasted that long without crying.

One of the (many) reasons I love live music so much is these beautiful moments you share with these perfect strangers for such a fleeting period of time; everything about it exists only for a moment in time and it’s such an incredible thing. During sound check when I first heard Ben’s voice echoing off the rocks that surround the amphitheater, I ran into a girl who could barely contain her excitement trying to get closer to hear. We shared a hug and we told each other how happy we were that other was there to see this musician we both love. I had a brief conversation with the guy next to me in between sets and it was just such a simple, genuine connection that is so rare outside of events like these. It’s truly such an amazing thing.

Suspended in light

Bernadette Castillo September 17, 2018

Amenra / Converge / Neurosis | 07.21.18 | Emo’s

I unfortunately haven’t spent nearly as much time in the photo pit this year as I’d like but Fall is gearing up which means way more tours and shows coming into town!

If I could tell you how many guys incredulously ask me if i got to ‘these kind of shows’ by myself, I’d be able to quit my day job. I think people have all these misplaced opinions about metal shows, but I really wish those people would see how everyone watches out for each other and feel the energy at these shows. I can’t tell you how many people here that I saw embrace each other like they were family they hadn’t seen in the longest time.

I showed up early enough to be blown away by Belgian band, Amenra. Their incredible performance really set the stage for what was to come the rest of the night. Their set was raw and the emotion was palpable. Converge has been a band I’ve meant to see for some time now, mostly because I’ve heard and seen their name so much over the years that I’ve increasingly gotten into the punk/ hardcore scene. I knew they were a must see band and they are exactly the type of band I love photographing: lots of movement and energy all over the stage and trying to capture everything that’s happening on the stage. Trying to capture the crazy energy along with the more quiet moments. I was not one bit disappointed by their set.

Neurosis was a band I’d heard name dropped years back from the singer of one of my favorite bands La Dispute and knew just from listening to their albums that their set was going to be epic. I’ve been to my fair share of shows, and it’s not every single show that a band playing gives me chills, and these guys did just that. Just their presence was commanding and mesmerizing, and I honestly found myself in awe of the talent manifested before me. The intricacy and atmosphere they set with their music was nothing short of incredible.

All around this was an absolutely killer show with insane energy around it, I’m so glad I got the chance to photograph it.

Nobody Lost, Nobody Found

Bernadette Castillo April 4, 2018

Cut Copy | 03.30.18 | Stubb's

I'm quite partial to fall and spring because those always seem to be when bands come around on tours the most frequently (doesn't hurt either that Texas weather is pretty great as well). I wasn't too familiar with Cut Copy, I've heard their name alot and I've heard a few of their songs, but I had a friend tell me how excited she was for the show and how they'd be a great band to photograph: she was totally right, of course. Photographing these dudes was so much fun and the energy of the crowd was enchanting. The energy always makes or breaks shows, and after my time in the pit was up I found my friends and surrounding us were a bunch of people jumping around, dancing and miming to the music. Live music truly is the best.

I'm really grateful I got the chance to photograph the band and I only wish I knew more of the lyrics to sing along in unison with the crowd and the band; that's another one of my favorite parts of live music: the feeling of singing along with hundreds if, if not thousands of strangers with a band you love.

Your soul's reflection, is it what it used to be?

Bernadette Castillo March 3, 2018

Erra / Born of Osiris / August Burns Red | 02.04.18 | Emo's

I've been so delayed in posting this because I've pretty much been sick ever since this show! I managed to finally finish these edits last night and I'm excited to get to share them, even if I am super late. This is the first show of the new year that I've photographed and let me say... it feels so good to be in that photo pit and I hope to be spending a hell of a lot more time in them this year.

Even though it's been about a month since this show, I'm still thinking about Born of Osiris' set. And even though it's been about a month since this show, I still can't adequately or eloquently state how amazing and mind blowing their set was. It's the kind of show that BOO puts on is why I love photographing live music, especially metal and hardcore: it's that passion and intensity that is just incredible to witness and capture, especially in such close proximity. I was in awe of these guys the entire time I was in the pit and as soon as I was out of the pit, I immediately texted one of my friends with a bunch of expletives and fire emojis about how insanely talented and incredible those dudes were to which he responded with something along the lines of "that's why they're on my Mt. Rushmore of metal bands." These guys are exceptional live and I'm looking forward to getting to see them again live, as soon as I can.

I've had the chance to see August Burns Red before but never actually seen them until this night and I'm glad I finally did. I was still reeling from the previous set from Born of Osiris honestly, but ABR really knows knows how to put on a show and they were a lot of fun to photograph, they'd been on my ever running list of 'bands I need to photograph' for some time now.

Who did I think I was, who did I think that I could be?

Bernadette Castillo March 3, 2018

Basement / The Front Bottoms | 11.16.17 | Emo's

The first time I saw The Front Bottoms was right after my birthday two years ago at The Parish and it's still a show I remember fondly and hold dear to my heart. Their shows are what I would best describe as a spiritual experience. The energy that they put in and the energy the crowd gives back is something very, very special. I've been to my fair share of shows and the type of enthusiasm isn't always present, or at least as palpable.

After The Front Bottoms had announced their new album and the tour in support of their new record, I saw they were slated to play in Austin the night of my birthday and I knew I had to try and shoot it, or at the very least go and simply enjoy the show, sans camera. Last year I had forgone a show I wanted to go to on my birthday and I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. This past year I haven't shot nearly as many shows as I would have liked, so I especially wanted to celebrate my birthday this year in the photo pit. I bought a ticket just in case I didn't get approved to photograph the show. Turns out I not only got approval for the show, but my mom also had that day off of work. I haven't celebrated my birthday with my mom in years, and I remember reading a quote somewhere that says "make time for your mother on your birthday, it's her special day too" so I couldn't think of a better way to spend my birthday with my favorite person, doing one of my favorite things.

I also finally got to see Basement live, which I was super stoked about! I've been wanting to see them for a couple years now and they definitely didn't not disappoint. It's going to be far too long until the next time I see them but that was also the icing on the cake for a really great birthday.

This past year has really been rough, and it's a really great feeling to look back and see what a different, better place I am in. I've made some serious strides to take care of myself and change things that really needed to be changed. It's still a process, but I'm happy and have no regrets with the measures I had to take to get where I am right now. This day/ the previous week had been really special because I can't remember a time I had felt that loved and appreciated.

Could you show me, dear... something I've not seen?

Bernadette Castillo October 8, 2017

Incubus | 10.03.2017 | Red Rocks Amphitheater

It's still difficult for me to put my thoughts into coherent, eloquent sentences from this past Tuesday, honestly. It's crazy, how things work out; it's funny how things just fall into place. Two weeks ago, I was not in a good place. Hell, I hadn't been in a good place for the better part of a year. I'd planned a trip out to Denver months ago and when it came down to it, I really wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it out and that bummed me out beyond belief because it was something I so desperately needed: to get away for a bit. A couple good friends helped make it happen and got everything squared away. Then another friend referred me for a job I was/ am genuinely excited about and I quit the job I'd had for over 3 years and had become increasingly and incredibly dissatisfied with. I had been making such strides to keep myself together and take care of myself and finally it felt like things were happening. At some point I'd emailed Julian, Incubus' photographer, because I've been a fan of his work for some time now and figured, what's the worst that could happen? I wouldn't get a response, and that was something I've gotten used anyways when it came to emailing venues. Well, because he's not only an great photographer but also an incredible human, he said he'd try his best to get me in with a photo pass. Again, I didn't expect much because I knew it was a huge thing I was asking for but at least I went for it. Turns out as my friend and I were chilling in Colorado Springs the night before the show on our third (or fourth...?) brewery of the day, I got confirmation about getting to photograph the following night.

I've been a fan of Incubus since I was about 15... they've been my favorite band since then and always will be. I've been lucky enough to have seen them a handful of times over the years and I've even gotten to meet them, but photographing them has been a dream of mine for years. Seeing them at Red Rocks has been on my bucket-list for a while. Photographing my favorite band at Red Rocks was a dream I never thought would have been realized or could happen... but here I am. It happened. I have photographs that document it happened! This wasn't just another show for me... besides getting to catch Incubus at Red Rocks and getting to finally photograph them, it was like this was a culmination of everything that happened this past year and everything that I've worked for since I fell in love with photography and photographing live music.

I cannot thank my friends enough for making this trip happen for me and I cannot thank Julian enough for giving me a chance and getting me into the show to photograph (and also for his endless patience with meeting me at the venue entrance when I had no real idea where I was going and having a hard time with security).

I've said it before, this was literally a dream come true, and I find it fitting that all of this happened the way it did.

I've seen this beautiful season, it's just not worth repeating

Bernadette Castillo October 7, 2017

All Get Out / Foxing / Manchester Orchestra | 09.09.17 | Stubb's Austin

The last show I'd photographed before this was Local Natives in December of last year, so needless to say it'd been a while since the last time I'd been in the photo pit. The last time I saw Manchester Orchestra was back in 2015, opening for Brand New. They have been on my running list of bands I’ve wanted to photograph for a few years and so I was beyond stoked when I saw that for the run of shows in Texas the support was All Get Out and Foxing. I'd seen each band live before so I knew this was a show I had to get into, one way or another. All the bands on the line up are incredible live and witnessing them playing the same show, together was pretty awe-inspiring. Out of the three bands, Foxing has been the one I’ve followed most closely over the years and it has also been incredible to witness how their fanbase has grown… and if you’ve ever seen them live, you’ll understand why.

Stubb’s is not a small venue by any means, and I was able to hear the chorus of voices behind me singing along in the pit which made my heart swell a bit. Everyone there, the bands and the crowd, seemed ecstatic to be there and I was amazed at how packed the venue had gotten after I finished shooting. If you’ve never seen any of these bands, next time they’re in your city, go see them. You absolutely will not regret it.

Looking back on my frame of mind before this show... getting in to this was important to me for several different reasons. I essentially used getting into this show as a sign on the direction things were going to go: either they were going to stay the same and I would slowly continue a descent into madness, or things were going to start looking up. I'm happy to say turns out it was the latter.

In regards to myself...

Bernadette Castillo December 31, 2016

It hasn't quite been a year since I started this music blog but 2016 is wrapping up tonight and because I'm sentimental I wanted to post something about a few of my favorite shows and just how important this year was in terms of my photography.

If you would have told me when I first started this year, hell, when I first started this blog that I'd have half of the opportunities this year I just wouldn't have believed you. I think when it comes down to it, the biggest lesson I learned this year, actually learned, was to believe in myself and just go for it. I've had so much love and support along the way in regards to my photography, but things only started happening when I believe in myself and my abilities. I'll look back when I was 24 years old and so frustrated with everything but continually found contentment in picking up my camera and focusing on my passion. I'll look back and remember when I just told myself "screw it, the worst I'll get is a no" and in return got to photograph my favorite bands that I'd only dreamt about shooting for years.

Music photography is my favorite because while I'm in generally the same situations... nothing is ever really the same from show to show. It's also my favorite because music is just always something that moves me in different ways and elicits incredibly visceral responses from me and the people around me. Witnessing live music truly makes me feel alive and I love that I get to document it.

I also wanted to make this post because there were a couple different publications that I am so thankful I got to photograph for and which photographs didn't make it here on my personal blog. So in no particular order, here are a few of my favorite shows that I got to photograph this past year:

Foals | April: At the time, this was the biggest name I'd photographed and I was so stoked about it and stoked about getting back into photographing for do512. I remember these dudes putting on an awesome show and I remember the security guards letting me in before their encore so I got more time to shoot instead of the standard first three songs.

The Front Bottoms | April: This show was the day before Foals and I was especially excited about shooting these guys because I'd seen them at the Parish last November and have cursed myself ever since for not bring my camera to that show... TFB shows are something that I can only describe as spiritual. After shooting the first three songs I got to find my friends in the crowd and enjoy the rest of the show with them jumping around and shouting along to the music.

La Dispute & Thrice | June: I think I fangirled enough about this (more eloquently) in my blog but this is what I think was what signaled the shift within me in actually putting myself and my photography out there. Forever grateful to La Dispute's manager for getting me into photograph this show... not sure he knew how important it was to me to get into this show as a photographer. Getting to photograph Thrice was incredible as well because I've been wanting to do that for years.

Foxing | March / October: I'm cheating because I saw them twice, once with O'brother and another time with Balance & Composure and each time they are even more incredible than the time before. Their headlining show back in March was nothing short of magical and it gave me some of my favorite images.

Brand New & Modest Mouse | July: I still can't believe this happened, honestly. But it did! And that is just absolutely insane to me. Again, I think I fangirled enough about this show back in my blog but Brand New is just not a band that they let photographers into the pit for... and the fact that I got to photograph Modest Mouse for their entire set was incredible. This is the show that I would have never even imagined I'd get to shoot. Ask me what my biggest accomplishment has been and I'll probably say this was it.

From Indian Lakes | February / May: One of my favorites and I caught two acoustic shows (as well as a full band show in October!). The photo is from the show here in Austin in May, but the first (and maybe my favorite) acoustic show was in Portland back on leap day with one of my dear friends. I completely fell in love with that city.

Silent Planet | October: I broke my stupid "rule" about not spending money just to see opening bands for these guys and am this show was embodied everything I love about live music: the passion and intensity of both the band on stage and the crowd.

Grouplove | November: This show was a few days after my 25th birthday and in the same exact venue I became a fan... so that was really cool. I also spent the show jumping around and dancing along with some random dudes and that was so much fun as well.

Local Natives | December: I've been itching to see this band since I was 19 years old and for some reason or another I always missed them. I finally got to see them a couple weeks ago and I think there's something poetic in this being the last show I "officially" shot this year.

*these are only the ones I got to photograph... there were so many other shows I couldn't/ didn't bring my camera in.

I'll endure the night for the promise of light

Bernadette Castillo December 18, 2016

Local Natives | 12.15.16 | Emo's

I have been wanting to see Local Natives for years... like since my freshman year of college when I first heard Gorilla Manor. They've come to Austin several times over the years but I've never been able to catch a show of theirs and I've been bummed every single time I miss them.

Fate finally smiled upon me when they were announced as a headliner for one of two nights of 101x's Indie Xmas. Every year this local radio station in Austin hosts these shows with cool sponsors and the ticket proceeds benefit Habitat for Humanity. Not only did I get to see a band I've been itching to see for about 6 years, but I was also lucky enough to get in to photograph the sold out show.

After waiting to see a band for so long... realistically there was a good chance it wouldn't have lived up to my expectations, but that certainly was not the case here. The energy of the band and the crowd was just so genuine and positive. Everyone in the crowd was singing and dancing along to every word and were in such good spirits. I also got to hear and sing along to my favorite songs in their catalog. It's shows like this that remind me of why I love live music so much and why it's so important to me: they are transcendental and transport me to another sphere of existence.

This is probably the last show I'll officially shoot for the year and it makes me all sentimental thinking of all the shows I've gotten the opportunity to photograph. I've gotten to photograph my favorite bands and bands I've wanted to shoot for years, and gotten to photograph bands I never thought I'd get the chance to shoot.

Trade your certainty for awe

Bernadette Castillo October 3, 2016

Make Them Suffer/ Silent Planet | 10.02.16 | Dirty Dog Bar

I first heard about Silent Planet when one of my friends showed me their Native Blood video but didn't listen to them too much until the release of Everything Was Sound... which I have had in near constant rotation since it was released back in July. I was so stoked to find out they were playing a show here in Austin at the beginning of October and was really hoping to get some good shots of them playing. Turns out I fared better than I expected because when I showed up to the venue, the line for doors was almost around the corner, and I figured it was going to be too packed for me to get close enough to get decent photos. I found a spot side-stage that let me be near the stage without being in the thick of the pit (although some dude almost stepped on over my relatively new lens trying to climb over the speaker to jump into the pit at one point!) and chatted briefly with a super nice dude Jose who was there to do some video work for Silent Planet.

Some time ago, I told myself I should stop going to shows just to see opening bands, because I was totally doing that very often and spending so much extra money but I had to make an exception this time around. I'd never listened to Make Them Suffer before and I really wish I had before seeing them because their energy was insane. I feel like if a band can completely sell you seeing them live without having heard them before that is something really special. I could tell from their sound too that they didn't just have stage presence... they were all solid musicians. I was especially impressed with Sean Harmanis' vocal range and control; his guttural vocals combined with Louisa Burton's clean vocals worked so well together. They definitely have a new fan in me, and I'm looking forward to the next time I get to see them... which unfortunately probably won't be for a while since they hail from Australia.

The energy from both the crowd and Silent Planet was wild. I'd heard how great they were live, but it was definitely something that needed to be personally witnessed. It's so evident that they have very passionate fans and for good reason... Silent Planet is a band with a message and purpose. It's a very special thing when a band is socially aware and uses their music to bring attention to real issues in a genuine manner. I'm also really glad I got to hear some of my favorite songs of theirs during the set, that's always a really awesome thing when you get to hear songs you really love live.

I am hesitant to admit it and I'm sure I'm going to hate myself for it later, but I ended up leaving shortly after Silent Planet's set because I realized I hadn't eaten since before noon and was anxious to get home and relive the night through the photos I'd captured. I will say though, it's shows like this one that remind me of just why music is so important and means so much to me. The feeling I get when I catch shows this electric just resonates so deeply in my soul, and it's really hard to describe that eloquently. It's such an emotional, visceral thing. It also gets me stoked for this month because I'm getting to see a few of my favorites in a few weeks time... which also means this blog will look less sad!

Bernadette Castillo September 26, 2016

Toadies | 09.22.16 | Stubb's Austin

I sort of requested to shoot this show at the last minute because I figured "why the hell not?" I've wanted to see the Toadies for a while now and I did get last minute approval after all!

I had a bunch of errands to run Thursday before the concert and showed up in the middle of Emily Wolfe's set and I really wish I would have been able to make it earlier to photograph her again (I've seen her before at Emo's opening for Black Pistol Fire I believe); she is a fantastic musician. Before the Toadies took the stage, it sounded like the entire crowd was chanting their name and that was a really awesome thing to witness from where I was in the pit. I also wish I would have been able to stay longer to enjoy the show after photographing, but things happen... I'm just glad I got the chance to photograph this band the first time seeing them. That was pretty awesome.

This blog has looked a little sad lately, and I have shot a couple shows since Brand New, just haven't posted them here. October looks like it's shaping up to be filled by lots of really awesome shows by bands I really love and I am so stoked.